Fat Mom

Fat mom, sad mom, bad mom, glad mom.

Glad (to have given birth) mom

But wouldn’t do it again mom

Present and hands-on mom

Held her premature baby to like mom

Held him till he felt like mine

Skin to skin so he’d never forget

That we were one once.

That you grew (in me) and grew me

Changed me, renamed me

Pumped milk for her baby

Even though they said it wasn’t enough.

Bad mom

Always late to the NICU ward

Bad mom for questioning the nurses’ care

Bad mom for not carrying him to term

For not being better prepared

For choosing the wrong gynae

Bad mom for ending up in a public hospital

Instead of a private one

Sad mom since I no longer

Recognise my body

Sad to see me change while he remained the same mom

Sad because there is no village to raise this child

Mad because my mom is so far away

Mad mom too tired to soothe the pain away

Mad coz she let herself get this big

Fat mom

With stretchmarks

That I can’t rub away

Kilograms of weight that I can’t hug away

Round face, double chin, wobbly arms, bigger thighs

Who would want all this?

Who could make it all better?

Fat moms need love too.

Poems by Unathi Nopece